Yesterday was my birthday which wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I was actually kinda happy. I feel like shit because I ate what felt like a lot now I’ve kinda felt that switch in my brain to not eat anymore which i know isn’t good for me but I really can’t control it. Tomorrow I’ll be 2 weeks clean from self harm which is also good. It’s hard to feel happy when I constantly feel disgusted with my self including my weight and my scars. I wish there was just a switch in my brain just like with my ed but instead the switch would flip and make me happy. I really crave substances but can’t really get my hands on any right now which I guess is a good thing. Anyways it feels weird to have had made it to an age I swore to myself I would even pass but here we are. I’m gonna stop focusing on the bad things now, I just need to do a quick vent since I can’t vent to anyone rn. Good night and if you’ve read to the end thank you! ❤️