I don’t even drink often.. and I can drink 5 times in a row and show some level of control but that 6th time comes around and I just lose myself in the alcohol. I feel like people that have never experienced blacking out can never grasp how truly disconnected I am to myself when I get to that point.. when I explain it to my friends even though they try their best to be supportive, they never understand the deep rooted sadness, embarrassment and regret that comes with acting out of character because you were too drunk to control yourself. When people say well “being drunk isn’t an excuse” it’s just doesn’t feel like they understand, the person that I am sober is not the person I am wasted. I’ve made many attempts to be sober but the normalization of drinking has always made it hard for me to stick with it I decided on sobriety 11 days ago and still feels hard to believe I’ll make it through for the rest of my life this way.. why do some people just have no desire to drink, I wish that could be me.