Milestone reached on Sobo Cannabis: 3 days Alcohol: 3 days I'm only 3 days into my journey. I've been alcohol free for 110 days before I relapsed. I tell myself that it was a conscious decision. I wanted to be able to drink with friends on my birthday trip. I was lying to myself thinking I was just "taking a break" only for my trip to become a haze of smoking and drinking. I was high 100% of the trip and I regret it deeply. Not to mention my over consumption of alcohol. I got so drunk I blacked out and was hungover most of the next day. Only to drink thinking "hair of the dog" would help. Even though it was a conscious choice to drink I still feel like I let myself down. I told myself a lie. Thinking I could handle it this time, that I could use moderation. The same lie I've told myself over and over again when it comes to cannabis. I've been drinking since I was 15 and smoking since 18. I'm turning 30 and I can't believe how many of my days I wasted. I lament the fact that I let it come to this all the while I'm mourning the fact I have to give up something I once loved. Something I've tied my identity to. Something that has been an easy escape from the day to day emotional struggle. All I know is I'm on the path to recovery and I'm fully committed. At least I think I'm fully committed. I thought I was committed before I made the choice to drink and smoke again. I'm not really expecting anybody to read this whole thing but I thank you for your time if you did. I don't know why I'm writing all of this but I feel like it helps. I worry about talking to friends and family about it because I feel that I'll be judged. Or that they'll think I'm making this a bigger deal than it really is. Now I really do feel that I'm at a crossroads in my life and I'm going to take the right path this time.