My most healthiest relationship coming up on a year in a week— he broke up with me and kicked me out of the house last night. I told him I was relapsing and using for a period of time. He’s never been angry at me the way he was. He’s 3 years sober. He told me dating me has made him want to relapse the most in his 3 years. I thought by being honest we could talk, I was ready. For weeks leading up to my relapse I’ve been begging him to come to my first NA meeting in over a year and just sit next to me and support me. He wouldn’t . He woke up one day and just got sober and he thinks because he could do it, anyone could and I’m not trying hard enough if I can’t. Which isn’t true. My effort he invalidated and pushed me out for slipping when I warned him I felt it coming. I love him. I love him. I messed up and he’s giving me no grace. It makes me want to further dive deep into the hole again. But I won’t allow that.