going to the beach tomorrow with friends and this is the first time i have the chance to relax and hang out kid-free in a minute. my brain immediately started looking for excuses to smoke/vape. i know they’ll be present tomorrow, and right now i have a game plan but i’m still a lil nervous that i’m going to cave and ask to hit someone’s vape. i used to tell myself that as long as i don’t own one myself that it’s okay, and that thought process always led to me buying one later down the road. part of me is like, it’s one day, it’s just a lil nicotine, and the other part of me is screaming no no no we can’t keep doing this, this has to be over. ugh i’ve been so excited for this trip, i pray i don’t ruin it.