I was 20 days sober and now I’m back to day one 😞 I regret it so bad and I really hate myself cuz I had so much hope .but to be honest , in these 20 days I just kept thinking about drinking like I never ever had a day without thinking of drinking no matter how hard I try to avoid these thoughts . All my thoughts and my desires got worse and worse and today I couldn’t avoid it anymore like I was out of control . I think that’s the biggest problem but I can’t find a way to stop these thoughts. I don’t know what to do anymore it’s been 3 years of trying!!!