venting time…. came to the conclusion / admitted to my outpatient therapist that i need to increase my intake and that i need help. i mentioned it to a clinician at the end of my partial today. im so exhausted, by everything. i cant sleep. i cant eat. i can’t get comfortable. my bones feel heavy and everything hurts. i haven’t been hungry for months now. i had half of a protein drink today, the first intake since wednesday. its just so hard and my body is speaking in a language my brain can’t comprehend. ppl are noticing more n more. i see it too, my skeleton under everything ive been hiding it under. ive stop looking in mirrors again bcuz i can clearly see my body deteriorating. its terrifying seeing parts of myself i shouldn’t be able to. i found out my brother is visiting from cali soon and im scared of how he’ll see me / his reaction. i don’t think he’d comment on it but i wish i could be a better role model. i wish i could take care of myself but at the same time seeing the life drain from my eyes is just not a big enough motivator. i know i need to try to increase my intake but im always nauseous. i have one more “koia” drink / rice cakes but i need some recommendations. i have a gluten allergy and lactose intolerance, i only have a mini fridge and no kitchen atm. sometimes ill just eat a “spoonful” of peanut butter but im here admitting thats not enough - yet so avoidant to take any real action. any rec on what to eat/quick snack when u just feel so fucking sick all the time?