No one wakes up and decides “I’m going to be an addict today”. For me it started as a way to numb emotional pain that I didn’t have the tools to persevere. Eventually it became debilitating and I was constantly looking for my next drink. Recovery has been similar, I had to think and process and prepare and chicken out and fail, again and again. Now, I wouldn’t trade it but before it honestly seemed silly to give up the thing that made everything else “bearable”. Grateful to still be able to learn new ways to approach life.