You’re not up against the alcohol, you’re up against yourself. Recovery forces you to not only look in the mirror, but deeply and truly experience all parts of yourself from within. On the other side of that is an experience of life so full of joy, self love, and discovery that is worth every ounce of pain, fear, shame and embarrassment we need to experience to transform. I’m almost 10 months into recovery and it has been anything but easy. You are not alone in your fear, God will get you through. Recovery was a matter of life & death for me. Something bigger than myself told me it was time to get my act together. Pray, journal, seek out a therapist, tell people you hurt. Even in the pain of silence, God sits with you and carry’s that weight with you. You are never alone. Recovery is possible & you are never too far gone to experience sobriety. You can find joy again, you can find peace again, you can love yourself again. Have faith in God, have faith in his plan for you.