I told my therapist that I’ve been sober for four, almost five months. She was shocked that I’ve held onto such a big thing. Since our session, I’ve been reflecting why I haven’t told her. I think I’ve always been ashamed about my usage and how dependent I had become. My addiction was something I hid from everyone. I know my family and friends would look at me differently and I never wanted that. My therapist had asked me what weed did for me. It gave me a break from my brain. Made me chill out and give me a break from my constantly running mind. A break from the anxiety and depression. It was a form of freedom that turned into its own type prison. Because I was secretive and ashamed of my addiction, I think that same feeling of shame transferred to my sobriety. It’s something I know I should be proud of but I’m just not. I’m disappointed that I let my usage get to the point that it did and that I have to constantly think about making a choice to not smoke. She said we’re going to work on changing my frame of thinking. Hopefully I can actually be proud of myself for this.