One of the things that sucks about PTSD: When I’m having a really good day, I’m in a really good mood getting to genuinely laugh or smile, it almost immediately goes away. Cause “I know” something bad is right around the corner… and unfortunately this is something I cannot disprove.. it may not be immediately could be a day or two later ,could even be the next week. But it’s like I can’t allow myself to ever feel true happiness to any degree. Another thing: Struggling to take criticism. The closer you are to me the more it feels like an attack and I instantly go on fight or flight mode. Having bipolar disorder really makes this harder cause when that switch is flipped… I can’t see the person in front of me for who they really are. No matter their intentions they take the form of just a blank person that’s attacking me… my husband has been learning ways to snap me back so I can see who he is, but it’s incredibly difficult…people have actually FEARED me and that’s VERY hard to accept. I’m a short woman how could I possibly be scary? But apparently in a few of my manic episodes I have genuinely scared a few people… I’m medicated and have went through tons of therapy but there’s no cure. And once I hit an episode the PTSD comes in or vise versa… Just something I’ve been thinking about.