Preface - I’m 5 months sober, have bipolar I and CPTSD. Today - I’m at a loss because I feel alone. I’ve learned to cope with the empty feelings inside of me, but today I feel truly, genuinely alone. I have so many family issued that resulted in me taking a step back. I feel like my friendships are all very surface level and so I don’t feel comfortable talking about what I’m going through, and I’m in a relationship that doesn’t feel healthy (it’s not abusive, just a lot of fighting and differences) but I’m at an apartheid with because I don’t see a life without him yet am having a difficult time seeing a life with him too. I feel like I’m the only one who understands me and my brain. I try to live in the moment and think small, but the big thoughts of “but I need to make big choices/I need to think bigger” worsen things. It’s tiresome. And I feel truly, genuinely tired and alone.