My Friday night looks weak. I know the weekend is the worst knowing I can let loose and give in to my addiction. I get anxious knowing the weekend is approaching. I think, “just one won’t hurt.” It’s never just one though. I take my first sip and the next thing I know I’m staring at the bottom of the bottle craving more. I’ve recently allowed myself to addiction to cloud my thoughts, leading me to progress toward other things. I said I would never do drugs but, then I started saying how a line is just a line and it’s a party drug so no harm. What if I end up losing myself so much I start making excuses for the harder drugs? I never thought I would see myself so broken but, trauma changed me and now I look at myself in the mirror trying to find the woman I was before. I’ve lost her and my trauma isn’t an excuse to lean on drugs and alcohol. I’m running away, numbing. If I don’t face what broke me, I’ll never heal. I pray my Friday nights in the future look promising instead of poor and hopeful rather than hurtful. I pray for a sober life.