🎉 Celebrating 8 Mo. Sober! Thinking about freedom and control, or I guess, how hard I have to control myself to become free from addiction? Something feels broken about this. Another though I came across recently is that “Discipline grows when your word becomes expensive to break! “ - but also - keeping your first promises to yourself VERY SMALL to re-build this damaged trust; I feel this is a huge issue with addiction, how I’ve struggled to trust myself and felt a lot of fear and shame. How at times I felt like I was loosing my sanity, how the inner battle became unbearable, because you want two opposite things at the same time and it was tearing me apart for years… Anyways, I’m thinking about my sober days tracker that is now showing something like 248 days and realize, this IS expensive! This is me, my discipline and the result of those small daily steps and habits!🤠